A Sucker Gets Licked..

There have been so many times in my young adulthood in which I felt taken advantage of, or felt that my "kindness was mistaken for weakness." In all aspects of my life, I was considered the "yes" girl. "Go to Gwen," they would say, "she'll do it," "she'll help" or "she knows."In this life we all take turns in the roles of "givers" and "takers." Neither role should be preferred, or considered better than the other,because we must assume those positions when we need them most. It seems that when it came to me, I always ended up in a position, where I was left feeling depleted and unsatisfied. Of course I would end up running to my dad, wanting him to right all the wrongs, and "take out all the bad guys," but instead he would simply reply.."A sucker gets licked baby, and when you see a sucker, you should lick it too." What???? I thought? This is know time to make reference to candy, and there is nothing remotely sweet about this situation. But then I had to think. Have I actually been a "sucker?" When you think of a sucker, words like "weak,"vulnerable," a "victim." Sensing my agitation with his response, he than began to explain further. "It's human nature for us all to be a little selfish. Life is rough for most people, so they take advantage of people or opportunities whenever they can. You can't expect people to consider your well being upon meeting you. You cant even expect them to care after they know you. All you can do is be smart about your choices, and be assertive. Treat people with a courtesy only, and nothing beyond that. You cant blame people for wanting more for them selves, you just have to make sure it's not at your expense, thus you will be the "sucker" getting licked. Control what you can control in life, and everything will be fine." For the rest of the day,visions of suckers danced around in my head. I guess he's right, I thought to myself. I will be more aware, and just make sure I take as much as I give. This balance will help me to feel better over all.

Never be mad when a snake bites...

I'm sure that you all can agree with me when I say that I have had my share of people who seem to want to hurt, block or hinder me in some way. This generation calls these people "haters." A hater is defined as someone who dislikes or wishes ill will towards a successful or accomplished person. These people are found all through out our lives. They can come in a variety of different titles, like friends, associates or even family. Like most of you I'm sure, I have had my share of people that are out to still or dim my light. After a series of events that happened to me a few years ago. I asked my dad for some advice on the matter. His response was, "never be mad when a snake bites baby, now you know that person is a snake." Wow, I thought. I was so busy licking my wounds from the multiple attacks that I received on a daily basis from disgruntled, jealous hearted women that I totally missed out on the the bigger picture. You may have labeled a person a "friend," "co-worker," or "family member," because you trusted them and believed that they were on your "team," only to soon find out that they where none of the above. It is a very hurtful thing to see a persons "blue colors." I say "blue colors" instead of "true colors" because blue is a icy cold color, and when people do something to hurt, they have icy cruel intentions. My dad continued by saying "now that you have identified all of the snakes in your surroundings, you just have to figure out what "shelf" to put them on. My dad uses the shelf to create a visual in your mind. Think of a book shelf with different levels from top to bottom. Each level of the shelf should be used to store a specific type of person or people. For instance in my minds book shelf, I have family on one level, friends on another and a shelf for the people I cant trust. This helps you separate the people in your life accordingly. If you know what shelf they are on in your mind, you will never be surprised when they act out, whether it be good or bad. This advice helped me in unmeasurable situations. I am so good now, that I can often see the snakes before they bite, and can know what "shelf" to put them on as a result. Hope this helps..

I love my dad because.....

So of course in honor of father's day, I must give a shout out to my dad, who inspired me to start this blog. About four or five years ago, on my dad's 50th birthday, my gift to him was a list of 50 reasons why I loved him..I will share (5) of those in my post for today..would love to hear your feed back and please leave a comment that completes the sentence: "I love my dad because___."
1.) he loves my mom, and all (8) of his children with his whole heart
2.) he wears shades outdoors, indoors and on all occasions
3.) he's bitchin' on the bass guitar, keyboard and violin
4.)he keeps EVERYTHING from drawings i did when I was in grade school, to my brothers plats from their first haircut
5.)while growing up, he was the resident father to a neighborhood of our friends who didn't have or know theirs father

Love you with everything dad.
Your 1st Born.

It's no step for a stepper..

During the beginning days of starting my career there were so many things that tried to knock me down. As a result, my self esteem was low, and I began to doubt my capabilities. On one particular evening, after a tuff day at work, I called my dad for advice. I told him that it seemed like everything I did was wrong, everyone one around was mean and that I was second guessing my dream of becoming a fashion editor. He simply replied "Its no step for a stepper baby, and your a stepper." What this basically means is that what ever your passion is, you will succeed at it no matter what. We often have big dreams, but never have the self confidence to match. You must believe in yourself now and always. Know that your better than "good enough." Once we all start stepping like we should, the this dance called life will be much easier to conquer.

I'm Back

So I know its been a while since I last posted. Almost a year to be exact. I recently started another blog. After sending out a few FB, TWITTER and LI alerts for people to follow me. I got my first comment from these efforts, it was a comment about this blog, and not the one publicized. The person said that they felt better because of the words told to me, by my father. That was a sign. I took a break,"let my hair down" as my dad would say--and now I'm back. Stay tuned

Quiet Your Mind

Ok, so my dad is always telling me that I must learn to quiet the "babbling monkey" in my mind. Most of us go from day to day always thinking about something. Either things that are going on at the moment..things that happened the day before..or planning on things that we are going to do in the future..we never really live in the moment that we are in. The older that I am getting, it is my mission to learn to control my thoughts. Only think about work when I am there, and not to bring it home with me. Don't dwell the past, it already happened. And let the future be just that, and come to me when it is supposed to. In this world we are constantly bombarded with people, places and things. Taking all of this in, all of the time can send us into major overload. Some times I am at home and a work thought may sneak up. A half hour will pass before I even realize that I am thinking of it. All while I am multitasking, washing dishes, doing laundry or even on Facebook..other thoughts alway sneak into your mind. My dad says that it is a skill and a talent to master this. Being able to turn your mind off like a light switch, and if a thought is to enter, say out loud, "cancel cancel" and move on:

I believe that this quieting the mind is what powerful people must do. I don't just mean CEO's or big shots, I just mean people that have learned to really understand and master themselves. It is a challenge learning to control your mind, but for the two or three minutes a day when I can do it..it feels WONDERFUL..tricks also work to..like playing a game, or listening to music..doing other things you love to occupy your time, so that your mind can't wonder. After doing this for sometime, I believe I will really own my thoughts. And that is true power.

So..I guess I'm doing this...

Ok, so I talk about lots of things to lots of people..and they suggested that I give this blog thing a try..here it goes..stay tuned!!!